2015-16 AP CS Jokes!

Q. How did the object pay its bills?
A. With its inheritance!

Q. Why did the programmer go to have a meeting with his boss?
A. He wanted arrays.

Q. what did the computer say on Halloween?
A. BOOlean!

There are only 10 types of people who understand this: those who do and those who do not.

Q. Why can’t exceptions play basketball?
A. Because they always throw it out of bounds!

-Knock knock!
-Who’s there?
-Array.
-Array who?
-Array-nbow!

APCS homework can be tricky; it always comes with Strings attached.

Q. Why did the computer scientist get caught breaking into the bank?
A. His method was public.

Q. what did the programmer get to help with his oddly shaped injured leg?
A. A curly brace

Q. What do APCS and jewelry class have in common?
A. You have to use strings, objects and loops to create your projects.

Q. What did the student who didn’t get their Car.java and Student.java classes signed off say?
A. OOPs!

Q. What’s a programmer’s favorite source of light?
A. Array of sunshine

Two students are studying for their marine bio final. One, knowing that Stever had only put a small section about manta rays on the test, had only studied the name of a single species. His friend looked over and said, “whoa, why didn’t you memorize the whole list of species?”

The first student shrugged and said, “why study arraylist when array takes up less memory?”

-Knock knock.
-Who’s there?
-Panther.
-Panther who?
-Panther no panth, I’m coding in java!

Programming Poems from AP CS, Dec 2015  Quiz!
Most are Haiku’s!

Programming is fun
But sometimes it can be hard
Mostly I like it

Help me Mr. Berg
Tell me what a while loop does
Oops, that’s infinite

Oh, the projects we do are frightful
But Gabe and Mr. B are so delightful
And since our programs won’t go
Let us code, let us code, let us code

Public Class Haiku
System dot out dot print ln()
Sixty two errors

CS is so cool
Squids are the best animal
So hyped for Star Wars

I can write java
Sometimes it is confusing
Refrigerator

I love programming
Programming is so much fun
Let’s all make programs

Programming is cool
Programming is a lifestyle
Programming is all

I lost my folder
It has big project inside
Tonight I don’t sleep

Pete’s code is awesome
It is elegant, simple
And super easy

Five syllables here
Seven more syllables here
Are you happy now?

I try to debug
There were thirty little bugs
And not there’re fifty

System out println
A sloppy typist’s best friend
Why won’t it compile?

I look at the clock
It is two in the morning
I can’t stop coding

Programming is fun
It will bring a bright future
Praise the code masters!

Poetry is dumb
But it is easier than java
Counting syllables is hard
I should write a program that
Counts syllables
I clearly can’t write haikus
Or code

Code is like pizza
Pizza will always be good
Pizza and code good

Programming is hard
Not like, really, super hard
But it’s not easy

Coding hurts my head
Coding sometimes helps my head
Coding is coding

Some of the Excellent Extra Verses from Fall 2014 AP CS’s Project 1: Song to enjoy…  (note: these were fairly randomly selected while Mr. Bergquist was grading)

Coding is just a big social commentary
// is a sign you’ve been visited by the comment fairy

Reducing redundancy and repetition
Means more methods and perception

Codes can do many amazing things
Beyond than just what you can think

Put a class in a room,
Call that classroom.
Throwing a pass while learning code,
Call that passcode.
My keys landed on the board,
Call that keyboard.

Played fantasy football last night
But my boolean decisions weren’t a delight

Not tryna go off the topic of CS
But Skyline’s going down faster than the Pony Express

That line about Ms. Martin doesn’t make any sense
She’s not even my teacher – now this rap’s on the fence
Also what does the word ‘vile’ even mean
I would never use it in a rap better check your screen
For your rapping fails get off script bro
Cause I know we can’t take much mo’
‘Vile’ doesn’t even rhyme with complies my guys
This rap has just been compromised.

This poem is such a masterpiece
I’m DjGrasp and I say peace!

If you are confused by this crazy computer
I gotchu I will be your genius tutor

I code so fast that I finish before class ends
Watch me now as my code skills begin to ascend

All I do is program every night and day
I program all my tunes; don’t need a deejay

I’m killing the game when I write in Java
My code isn’t tame, it’ll burn you like lava

Now I’m my ending my program, so it’s time to go
Time to get featured on the British Variety Show

I’m so good I can code with my toe
For shizzle my nizzle you already know

Look at my code only twelve lines long
You’re the human race and I’ve wrecked you like King Kong

When I finish this code, I’ll hit the plus and the guy
If I type more it won’t do nothin’, so now I’ll say bye-bye

I’m too good at coding I don’t need help
When you see my code you jump up and yelp

I tap out things that I vaguely understand
I’ll catch myself up, ‘fore things get out of hand

Look at my code it got no redundancy
Bow down as I compile triumphantly

My code is super duper mega ultra good
Cause chips and bytes and cookies be my food

This here is a rap about Java, what a novel idea!
When this hits the radio, you’ll be all, “mama mia!”

Yes I am so good at coding
I finish all my work while you guys are still loading

Code so hard, I’m givin’ you a virus
Code so hard, you’ll go back to papyrus!
I code in the morning and I code at night
So now that I code it’s such a fine sight

I’ve got 99 problems but coding ain’t one
Take a seat while you learn from the master son

You cannot brace yourself for this code
Because you can’t process this load

2013-14 APCS Jokes:

Q: Why was the programmer mad when his friend gave him a t-shirt?

Because the programmer lent his friend a hat; He made an error and returned the wrong object!

An APCS student was doing work with loops, trying to count the number of unique values in an int array. She consistently got the correct value but had errors with every other part of the problem. When asked why, she replied, “I only get sum of it!”

An apple a day keeps the coder at bay

Q How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None, that’s a hardware problem.

Q:What’s Dr.Freezes favorite weapon?

A: The Freeze-Array

A boy leaves his home method, to the sadness of his family

“Don’t worry, I’ll return soon.”

Why couldn’t the sniper initialize his mission?

‘Cause he forgot his scope.

Why is a programmer’s windshield always so dirty?

He’s always debugging.

Q:Why was the array a boring person?

Because he was one dimensional!

What did the computer scientist say when asked for a double latte?

Type mismatch.

Why do java programmers wear glasses ?

Because they don’t C#

2012-13 Class

Why did the programmer lose his March Madness pool?
-  He forgot his bracket.

What did one angry coder say to the other?
-  Byte me!

A lawyer tried to bribe the judge and got thrown an IllegalArgumentException();

What is a werewolf programmer’s favorite Java program?
-  Eclipse.

I can’t jGrasp all of these complex concepts!

I wrote a program to calculate where all the light from the sun goes. It used an A-ray-List.

What did the coder/librarian never have trouble with?
-  Returns.

What do you call a good joke about computer science?
-  Trick question, there are none.

What do you give a tired programmer?
-  Java.

Return count: how many object oriented programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
-  3. One to name it, one to initialize it and one to actually change it.

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
-  None; that’s a hardware problem.

What Class does Mr. Bergquist run?
-  The ApCs class!

A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, ‘can I join you?’

[“hip”,”hip”] (That’s a hip hip array!)

Programming is like sex. One mistake and you may have to support it for the rest of your life.

I called the janitor the other day to see what he could do about my dingy linoleum floor. He said he would have been happy to loan me a polisher, but that he hadn’t the slightest idea what he had done with it. I told him not to worry about it – that as a programmer it wasn’t the first time I had experienced a buffer allocation failure due to a memory error.

ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI.

Ms. Martin has experience!