Computer Science Jokes

posted by: Ms. Martin 21 January 2011 29 Comments

Please comment with your amazing CS jokes… I didn’t have a chance to copy them down but some made me tear up (mostly with mirth, sometimes with cringing)!

(11 votes, average: 2.73 out of 5)

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29 Comments

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Why was the dead body so bad at computer science?
Because he had such terrible decomposition!

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Will Godbe on January 21, 2011 at 8:24 am

Why couldn’t the man cash his check at the ATM?

Because the way he inserted it was a void method.

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Lucas on January 21, 2011 at 8:25 am

Q: What did the Array say to the Int when they got married?
A: I want you inside of me.

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ElvisFrank on January 21, 2011 at 8:25 am

Why did Boole always fail his tests?

He only understood the true or false section.

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Lucas on January 21, 2011 at 8:26 am

Why was the stuntman-turned-actor so upset when he landed a part in a move about Jgrasp?
Because they cast him as a double!

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Will Godbe on January 21, 2011 at 8:27 am

Who do computer programmers hire to entertain at their parties?

DJ Grasp!

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Summz0rz on January 21, 2011 at 8:27 am

Why was the computer kicked off the baseball team?

It was always throwing errors.

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Lucas on January 21, 2011 at 8:27 am

“Hey Victor, how did the computer scientist become so good with both words and numbers?”
“I don’t know, Thomas. How?”
“He was always researching string theory!”

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Thomas Builds-The-Fire on January 21, 2011 at 8:28 am

How did Toucan Sam take care of his breakfast?
He nested loops!

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Will Godbe on January 21, 2011 at 8:28 am

What’s large, grey and lumbering and impresses people in Africa?

My computer.
Think about it.

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Lucas on January 21, 2011 at 8:28 am

Why did the Baskin-Robbins robot give away too much ice cream?

It got caught in an infinite scoop.

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Lucas on January 21, 2011 at 8:29 am

What did the stuttering pirate say when he learned that his intramural basketball team had accidentally been placed in a tournament held exclusively for teams whose players are all made out of twine?
“String bracket…bracket? Args!”

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Will Godbe on January 21, 2011 at 8:29 am

How does breakfast travel around the galaxy?

On the Universal Cereal Bus.

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Lucas on January 21, 2011 at 8:30 am

What popular computer beverage was recently banned in Washington?

for(loko) {

}

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Lucas on January 21, 2011 at 8:31 am

Why did the computer programmer put his brownies back into the oven?

They were too GUI.

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Lucas on January 21, 2011 at 8:37 am

Why was the DrawingPanel expert such a hit with the ladies?

A1: Because he was so h.awt.*

A2: Because he was such a Graphics G.

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Lucas on January 21, 2011 at 8:39 am

What mouthwash did the computer scientist have a love-hate relationship with?
Scope!

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Will Godbe on January 21, 2011 at 8:40 am

Why was the hair model/computer scientist so sad?

She had a bug in her mane.

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Eli on January 21, 2011 at 1:48 pm

How do you store a lot of sunlight?

In array.

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Tal Levy on February 1, 2011 at 8:05 am

Q: What did the Apple(r) computer say to the USB that it was giving information to?
A: Take a byte outta this!

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Nathaniel on February 2, 2011 at 8:34 am

This is one of the funniest jokes that I have seen

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Nick on February 14, 2011 at 9:32 am

Why did Sergeant Integer quit the Army basic training class?
Because he was demoted to Private!

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William Godbe on February 7, 2011 at 8:23 am

What is a Java programmer’s favorite astronomical event?

An Eclipse.

What friend of a Java programmer’s really fun to be with for short periods of time, but becomes very annoying and hard to deal with if you’re with him too long?

Jay Grasp

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Adam on February 11, 2011 at 10:20 am

Why is materialism bad?

Object-Oriented people tend to be dysfunctional…

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AJ on February 16, 2011 at 10:15 am

What’s the best part of a molten Java cake?

the hot GUI center

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Adam on February 16, 2011 at 9:33 pm

Why couldn’t the 1st grade class go play outside?

It was a private field.

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AJ on February 18, 2011 at 10:56 am

Where does the TI programmer go to eat Mexican food?

Taco Del Var!

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Brant on April 12, 2011 at 12:24 pm

The great thing about UDP jokes is no one cares if you get them or not.

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bird on August 22, 2011 at 7:20 pm

Good one!

Reply

Ms. Martin on August 23, 2011 at 8:08 pm

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All activities occur in room 115a, our Garfield Computer Science Classroom. If you would like to attend a presentation during class, see Mr. Bergquist (in 115a) to get a permission slip to be signed by your teacher for that period.
Monday, Dec 10th (Noon – 12:30pm): Garfield’s Women in Technology meeting, celebrating Admiral Grace Murray Hopper’s birthday (Dec 9th) – bring your lunch, everyone is welcome! (Wikipedia Page / What is a NanoSecond? Video / Women in Science: Grace Hopper )
Tuesday, Dec 11th (9 – 9:55am): FreakNGenius visits …

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